Some people ask me about the frustrations and difficulties involved in the business of technical documentation. As a reply, I tell them this joke:
A duck walks into a bar, waddles up to a bar stool and says to the bartender “Do you have any grapes?”
Puzzled, the bartender replies, “No, we don’t have any grapes.”
The duck hops off the barstool and waddles out the door.
The next day, the same duck walks into the bar, waddles up to the bar stool and says to the bartender “Do you have any grapes?”
Annoyed, the bartender replies, “No. Like I told you yesterday, we don’t have any grapes.”
The duck hops off the barstool and waddles out the door.
The next day, the same duck walks into the bar, waddles up to the bar stool and says to the bartender “Do you have any grapes?”
Angry, the bartender pounds his fist on the bar and barks, “No! We don’t have any grapes! And if you walk into this bar one more time and ask for grapes, I’m gonna nail your webbed feet to the floor!”
The duck shrugs, hops off the barstool. and waddles out the door.
The next day, the same duck walks into the bar, waddles up to the bar stool and says to the bartender “Do you have any nails?”
Surpised, the bartender replies, “No.”
“Do you have any grapes?” asks the duck.
Now replace “duck” with technical writer, “grapes” for information, and “bartender” for Subject Matter Expert (or anyone we’d need to get information from), and you’ll have a pretty good idea of what it’s like writing technical documentation.
