- I’ll take it along and read it on the plane.
- I’ll read it over the weekend.
- I’ll return this to you, with my comments, by the end of the week?
- On Monday: We need it by Friday (after doing a little digging, you discover that they’ve known about this project for 6 weeks, but are only getting around to telling you now. More digging reveals that they can really wait until next week).
- Nobody reads the manuals, anyway!
- Code will be frozen 12 weeks before your document is due.
- There’s plenty of time in the schedule for these changes.
- I don’t really have an opinion on how you labelled those controls.
- One space, two spaces. It doesn’t matter to me.
- We’re ordering you a faster computer and a 21″ monitor tomorrow.
- Our company takes great pride in its technical documentation.
- We’ve never had any complaints about our documentation.
- You’ll have the full support of upper management.
- We’re very committed here to producing top of the line documentation.
- Our TWs are respected members of the development team.
- You’ll have the opportunity to learn the latest tools here.
- We’re going to be moving to online documentation within the next six months.
- What do you mean you need to know the product name now? Can’t you just do a search and replace right before you go to the printer?
- Nobody expects you to take notes or write up the minutes if you attend our development meetings.
- The style guide covers every possible situation.
- The manual is the first thing that the user goes to after installing the product.
- Our readers always notice and care deeply if there are two spaces after a period, if bullets are square instead of round, and if the font is Verdana instead of Arial.
- Your pay is within close range of the developer’s.
- You’ll never perform a non-writing task.
- Designers and developers will ask for and respect your opinion on GUI design,layout, and functionality.
- You should having a fully-functional product in your hands in plenty of time to complete your document.
- Don’t worry. Your document probably will not need to be translated.
- The product’s so intuitive, it practically writes the manual itself.
- Nobody here is going to offer anything but constructive criticism about your work. There are no ego problems. We’re a team.
- Your computer and software is every bit up-to-date as the ones they have in Engineering.
- You won’t be thought of as a nuisance by the SME’s. They accept that you’re a peer and respect that you have a job to do.
- You don’t need to know anything about a computer except how to turn it on and work the word processor.
- The work is simple. Just write down what the thing does and how to do it.
- Oh, there’s just one major feature change and some bug fixes.
- Don’t worry…
- This is the latest copy…
- It’s still in review…
- It’s at the printer…
- It’s due back from the printer today…
- We’re going to make the deadline…
- This is the latest copy of the software.
- Take it from me, this is how the feature is going to work.
- All the information you need is in the specs.
- Don’t worry. You’ll get my comments on your manual tomorrow. I swear.
- The procedure should only take a page, two at the most.
- No rush.
- We are an equal opportunity employer.
- We’re all just one big happy family.
- We have no lawsuits pending.
- Our stock options are growing and you can purchase on the employee plan.
- Communication is our priority.
- Teamwork is our middle name.
- The software is frozen.
- I’d make that more abstract. We’ll make sure you have everything you need to get the job done.
- As the tech writer at our company, you will have full, unrestricted access to the devolopment team’s time and resources.
Documentia Inc. is your one-stop shop for your technical documentation needs. Our writers specialize in writing, designing, researching, and developing user documentation that is tailored to your specific industry and user needs.
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Documentia Inc. Blog by John David Hickey is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at www.documentia.ca.